I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANY 

I was so confused by Dan’s tweet because I was thinking “What’s so bad about walking into a bus shelter I mean you need to protect your designer tshirts from the rain” so I couldn’t figure out why the little girls were laughing at him because I thought he meant he went IN the bus shelter which is hardly an embarrassing thing. I assumed he just looked gay or something. Which would imply that the five year old girls were homophobic, which quite frankly was a disturbing thought you know society issues and stuff.

SO I JUST NOW REALIZED THAT HE MEANT HE LITERALLY WALKED INTO THE BUS SHELTER LIKE HIT IT AND THAT’S WHY THE GIRLS WERE LAUGHING PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY STUPID HERE

I started to write an awful phanfic that would fit Dan’s request, but it turns out that writing horribly is more exhausting than trying to write a good fic so all I did was 2 paragraphs wow enjoy

dan the safari man cut his way through the trees using his knife which was very large and sharp. not as sharp as his wit or as large as his throbbing member tho. this is no time for boners dan whispered to a tree he had just killed fatally. his phil who he had homoerotic and very gay feelings for had been kidnapped and he had to save him because he loved him like rly loved him more than his fancy hair products and his ugly shirts.

he thought back to their last convo. “i hate you!!!!!!!!1” he had said very loudly to phil. phil was cry. but dan was angry so he didn’t care that phil was cry. this convo of which dan is remembering happened just a few days ago. they hadn’t talked since. the thought of phil dying with that being their last convo (where dan said he hated phil) brought tears to dan’s eyeballs. also phil had left the house that day wearing one of dan’s shirts, and dan really wanted that shirt back because he liked it so he wanted it back.

I’m so happy for Dan and Phil! I figured they’d get their own radio show eventually, and I can see it turning into a career for them. Along with YouTube, I hope. I’m really proud of how they’re growing and branching out. They need our support, and I hope everyone is willing to provide it.

…Sappiness aside, did anyone else in the U.S. jump out a window because of the whole “visual” aspect of the radio show? I think “THIS STREAM IS UNAVAILABLE IN YOUR COUNTRY” will be written on my tombstone.

Daniel, Philip, I love you both so much and I can’t wait to see/hear what you’re going to do with this fabulous opportunity!